James Potter's awesome plan
by slytherinzprincess
Summary: James Potter has a plan. A most brilliant, devious, genius, awesome, plan. And that plan involves... muggle pick up lines! that's right, watch James as he continuously tries to charm Lily with his cheesy muggle pick up lines. JP/LE K for cheesy inappropriate pick up lines ;


**Authors note: Hello Potterheads! It's been two whole days since I've uploaded.. seems like forever! LOL, but siriusly.. *ahem* seriously, this is my first JP/LE fic (if you don't count the light side pairing in ARTLTL) so feel free to use constructive criticism to help me improve future JP/LE fics! I got all these lines from a tumblr link my friend sent me, they're pretty lame if you ask me but, hey.. that's James' style XD. I apologize for Lily being a bit OOC, she seems a bit snarkier then usual... ohwell! Read on!**

**Warning: Humour and cheesy pick up lines ahead!**

**Disclaimer: *dramatic sigh* No... they don't belong to me, nothing in the HP world does... :'( I'm just playing with J.K.'s wondrous creations. **

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**James Potter's awesome plan**

James Potter had a plan. A most brilliant, devious, genius, _awesome_, plan. And better yet, no one would see it coming! Obviously, _everyone_ knew the Marauders, therefore _everyone _must know James Potter, right? And If they knew James Potter, they would surley know that he is indeed of pureblood heritage, and would never see his brilliant plan coming.

Muggle pick up lines! That's right, James was going to use muggle pick up lines to make a certain red-haired beauty swoon with his fantastic charm. No more silly cliche` _wand_ jokes/lines, for him. No! The sophistication these muggle pick up lines provided would most definatley make Lily Evans his once and for all.

* * *

'_Ok.. there she is.._' James thought to himself as he peered around the corner of the cold stone corridor sighing dreamily (In a totally manly way that is..) ashis precious flower exited her charms class and unknowingly made her way towards him. As she turned the corner towards him he quickly jumped in front of her stopping her in her tracks.

Lily looked up in suprise, then grimaced when she saw who was in front of her. "Ugh.. What do you want _now_, Potter?" she groaned.

James was unnaffected by her rude greeting and smiled a charmingly toothy grin at her. "I was just wondering... did it hurt?"

Lily's eyebrow furrowed in confusion '_Oh Merlin.. What's he on about this time..?_'

"Did what hurt?" she asked puzzled.

James threw her a flirtascious wink, before answering "When you fell from heaven ofcourse!"

Lily paused, out of all of Potter's outragious attempts to get her to go out with him, she had never encountered something such as this, she had to admit it was kind of sweet.. wait! '_No... this is _Potter_ we're talking about here! Nothing he does is sweet, just ignore it_' she mentally scolded herself and abruptly pushed passed him and onto her next class.

* * *

'_Well, _that_ didnt work.._' James thought moodily as he saw her practically storm off to her class. '_Perhaps if I try more.. Yeah! That's it, I'll persevere, bombard her with lines till she swoons...!_' he thought triumphantly.

Exactly forty five minutes later it was lunch time, which meant everybody would be in the great hall taking a break from classes, including one miss Lily Evans-soon-to-be-Potter, as James called her.

So when he spotted her, he waltzed up to her and her friends doing a princley bow and said "Excuse me beautiful, but do you have a map?"

"A.. map?" Lily scoffed questionably once more. She really didnt know what went on in that boys head sometimes, nor did she want to know.

"Yes, a map. Because I am getting lost in your eyes.." he smiled gazing into her emerald green orbs.

"Oh sod off Potter, don't you have something else to do?" she told him.

James still didn't falter. "Oh yes! I meant to ask you, do you believe in love at first sight? Or... should I walk by again..?" he smirked, '_That one will do the trick!_'

"Mmm.. no thanks. Perhaps you could walk off the astronomy tower instead?" she asked James with a playful smirk, that scarily enough, mirrored the trade mark one of his own.

* * *

"Oh Lily dearest!" James hollored from across the library, glaring as he was hushed by the pesky librarian, but regained his cool and walked over to the table where Lily and her friends were sitting.

"_What? _I'm _trying _to study" Lily sighed ruefully at the bespectacled boy, and her friends giggled excitedly. The _James Potter_ was standing right infront of them!

"Quick question. Was your dad a baker? 'Cause you've got great bun-"

"No" Lily said, cutting him short before he could finish that scandelous sentence.

"Huh?" now it was James' turn to be confused.

"He was a ventrenarian" she claimed, out-smarting the messy haired quidditch player.

"Oh.. um.. ok then.." he admitted defeat awkwardly, trying to think of another one off the top of his head. It didnt work too well. "...I'll be back later!" he said, once again being hushed by madame Pince and exiting the library.

* * *

Over the next few days James had tried various other lines and supposedly romantic phrases to convince her that he really would be her ideal boyfriend, but sadly.. it was not going aswell as he had hoped. Each time he tried to impress her with his immense witty remarks, she would counter it with something equally as witty or just shrug it off as though he hadnt said anything at all.

* * *

"Hey Lily-flower! You know what would look good on you?"

"... do I really want to know?"

"ME!"

"Eck.."

* * *

"Hi! I have big feet."

"...So?"

"Well.. you know what they say about guys with big feet"

"Big socks?"

"It rhymes with sock"

"Eck! Creep..."

* * *

"So.. theres this movie that I really wanted to see, but my mum says I can't go alone so...?"

"Ok first of all bringing your _mum_ into a pick up line? _Really?_"

"Yup"

"Secondly, do you even know what a movie _is_?"

"Uh.. some kind of cake?"

"You both disgust and amaze me James Potter..."

"Alright! You think I'm amazing! Wait... what was the other thing?"

* * *

"You may fall from the sky.. you may fall from a tree... but the best way to fall, is in love with me."

"..."

Lily was literally speachless. All week Ja- *_ahem_* Potter had been practically stalking her and baffeling her with these riduculously cheesy muggle pick up lines, that frankly didnt work on anyone, and yet this one was actually kind of sweet. No! no, no, no, no... Not this again! Nothing James Potter does is sweet, nothing.. well maybe that was just a little bit.. only a tiny bit..

"So? Have you _fallen_ for me yet?" James smiled hopefully, basking in his loves very presence.

"I wouldnt quite say that Po-" she cringed slightly "_James_. But I have to admit.. that was a little bit.. cute" she admitted, the ice around her heart slowly melting bit by bit. Afterall she wouldnt be lovestruck by just silly muggle pick up lines alone. No, it was going to take a lot more then that.

"That's all I needed to here..." James smiled a grin that went all the way up to his eyes, gave Lily a quick unexpected hug, and skipped joyfully (again, in a totally _manly_ way) back to the Gryffindor common room to inform the rest of the Marauders of his marvelous semi-victory.

_'Well it didnt quite work... perhaps muggle pick up lines werent the best approach..'_ James perked up as another brillaint, devious, genius, _awesome_, plan popped into his mind. _Wizard _pick up lines!

Well, theres next week planned out.

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**Authors Note: Thank you for reviewing lovelies! If ya liked it review, if you really liked it favourite! And if you thought it was crap, please tell me why I accept constructive criticism.**


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